Who Are You? Who Who? Who Who?

[Coriolanus]

Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I've been around for a long, long year. Stole many a mans soul and faith.

I thought it would be cool to have a thread to introduce ourselves to the rest of our fellow ABCOTD'ers. So I'll start.

My name is Ehsan. I am 28 years old. I live in San Diego, CA. I am Persian and was born in the lovely city of Shiraz, Iran. My birth coincided with the Iran-Iraq War, so my parents wanted to get out of Iran. I went to Denmark and lived there for a year, before moving to England and living in the lovely village of Keele, in Staffordshire County for a little more than six years. Now I reside in the states.

I work in inventory (boo!) though I have a degree in bioengineering (what happened?). I have two smelly cats who drive me crazy, and am currently dating nobody (I'll start again once I get a better job). I'm currently reading the Song of Fire and Ice books by George R R Martin after seeing the previews for the HBO series. Just finished A Clash of Kings. I am a huge fan of classical music.

Just a little bit o' me. So who are you?

[JMG]

I'm Jared.  I live in the U.S.  I make independent films, write, and do occasional voice-over work.  I also read a lot of bad date stories.  It's enough to make one weep, if I wasn't laughing so hard at most of them.

[Howie Feltersnatch]

I'm Howie.
I live in my parents basement. Not sure what country I live in because my parents moved us one night when I was sleeping. It's really hot  down here...hot, dark and dank...except for the glow of my computer and the hum of my mom's vibrator, I feel all alone.

My turn on's include, but are not limited to: cheese, women's feet and 'taint...probably because all three smell pretty similar.
My turn offs are: bread, men's feet and midgets....oh and little people who don't like to be called midgets or dwarfs. Needless to say, I can't eat a cheese sandwich either.

For fun, I read ABCotD. Currently I am working on a rough draft for the 'Forward' of the book to follow...if Jared ever gets it done!

I am not bald....I choose not to grow my hair. Or my fingernails. I have only 9 toes- 6 on 1 foot, 3 on the other. I have 6 moles ~ 5 on my back and one on the tip of my penis. It makes my cock seem ribbed...for her pleasure, of course.

Well, I don't want to get 'too personal', so I will stop now!

Who's next?

[Bluejae]

I was born a poor black child.

[Nikki C]

I'm Nikki. I'm Queen of the Trolls and, coincidentally, the Queen of Tacos. I've met Jared in real life; he's much shorter than he seems on the Internet. I've also met former trolls The Architect and Fizzicks; they're also shorter in real life.

I live in Baltimore and have my entire fuckin' life. If you lived here, you'd understand why the f-bomb was necessary. I just got into grad school at the University of Northern Colorado in Greeley, and I'll be moving out there with my Scientist Novio/fiance in August. It'll be our first time living away from our families, and honestly? Thank God...at least for mine. Batshit crazy, every last one of them.

I'm a dog person, but I own a cat. She's annoying but loveable. I have a niece (she's the balla in my profile picture) Mia (3 yrs old), a nephew-in-law Brendan (2 1/2 yrs old), and a nephew Camden (6 months). I'm "Aunt Kiki" to the two who can talk, and I'm BASICALLY the best aunt ever. I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER have children for a variety of reasons, despite what my mother says.

I like to call people "cunt" on this blog. I remember the "fat bitch" meme of Gulliver, and frankly, I miss it.

[OneChicGeek]

I'm Kate. 24, living in Missouri. I'm a medical courier but I prefer the title "drug runner." I graduated college and moved back in with my parents and thirteen-year-old sister...joy. I'm trying to become a cop. I am a sci-fi geek and I love everything to do with England.

And I have NEVER actually been on a date. Not a real one. I had a boyfriend, once, in college and shortly thereafter. His idea of a date was going by IHOP after a trip to Walmart. He was a jerk. We were making out once when he stopped and said, "I guess I should tell you...I have a eHarmony account."

I looked at him. "....um....an active one?"

"Yeah."

"Ah. Right. Bye."

Within six months, he was engaged to a Canadian woman ten years older than he was (not that I have anything against Canadians, all my favorite TV shows seem to be filmed in Canada). Unsurprisingly, that didn't last. MWAHAHA!

(I have to say, the only reason I dated him was because I went to a college where women outnumbered men nearly 3 to 1, and when I was still dateless by junior year, and he showed some interest, I jumped. BAD BAD BAD idea...)

But...yeah...still don't know why I've never gotten any dates. The freaks are the only ones interested in me (well, obviously, anyway). So I live vicariously through ABCotD. And then I give my dog a hug and pretend that hanging out with her is enough.

And I'm rambling. That's because it's three in the morning. Crap I'm gonna be tired tomorrow...

[Ari]

I'm Ari. I'm 26, and from NYC. I'm an artist and graphic designer by skillset. I used to primarily do freelance web design, but decided that I detest website clients far more than I care to deal with (i.e. DIAF), so I focus on the graphic side of things -  logos, web & print ads, etc. I mostly do photo retouching now. I can make you look younger, beautiful, thinner, and much less like a MySpace slob. Digitally, at least. If only that skill could apply to real life, I'd be swimming in money right now. Alas.

I'm not seeing anyone at the time of this post, and I'm not really looking at this point. My faith in the human race and the relationship potential of individuals has dwindled to the point where I'm stepping aside with an "Er...I'll be over...HERE now, kthx." (Not due to reading ABCotD, though it certainly helps to cement my "Everyone is fucking insane!" battle cry.)

I have a dog and a gecko, and a bird that was an unexpected recent addition. They're all pretty chilled out, which I guess is a reflection of me to an extent. Well, not the gecko. Most lizards are just lazy bastards by default.

I don't identify as a troll, but if I'm in the mood I will gladly "argue" with one for the lulz.

[JMG]

I seem tall on the Internet?

[Nikki C]

So smart and tall. /insidejoke

[nomatophobic]

Where are Architect and Fizziks? I miss them. In that internet kind of way.

I'm Sarah. I also live in Sandy Eggo. I'm not interesting enough to warrant internet stalkers, so I also have no concern for anonymity. I'm a journalist and I'm dating the aforementioned veterinarian from England who I'm crazy about. I haven't met anyone from ABCotD, but I'd like to someday - height be damned.

I have 2 rescue cats, I think they are standard issue when you are a single woman in the city. I really like my Jeep, cooking, surfing, running, NPR, beating the crap out of you in Scrabble, and making endless jokes about the time I beat you in Scrabble. I cried during the movie Up. I cried during Die Hard. I run a small charity on the side to help with human trafficking. (Not to encourage it, but to end it, so we're clear.) I love socks. I've submitted one story here, but I've had more bad dates than I can count. I just haven't gotten around to sending them in.
Gawd bless the awful men of San Diego. At least you get stories out of it.
I don't use smiley faces, and I'm opposed to internet acronyms for words that can easily be typed. lol, bffs.  

[Nikki C]

SARAH!! I enjoy knowing the real names of people I like on the internet. :) I'm glad that you and the British vet are getting along smashingly, and I'm SUPER STOKED you're not in favor of human trafficking.

I wish San Diego was closer to CO (where I'm moving soon) so we could visit one another. Our cats could have a playdate and Scientist Fiance could geek out at the Zoo and tell me things about animals. Or you could come to Colorado and...well, I don't know what there is to do in Greeley, as I've never been there, but I'm sure there's something to do.

Last I heard, Fizzicks had gotten a permanent, less shitty job and a new, not shitty boyfriend. I guess the combination of the two led her to live a "real" llife. We used to email but just drifted apart. The Architecht was still unemployed and super down, so I think he opted to leave his online presence.

It may take me a long time to catch up, but even if I don't comment, know that I'm lurking. <3

[Coriolanus]

Hooray for another San Diegan! With now two San Diegans in the fold, San Diego is the best represented city on this site. Therefore Jared, you have to make San Diego the Official City of ABCOTD.

[JMG]

Actually, the site is quite popular, apparently, in Wallington, NJ and Detroit.  San Diego might be a good site for the first ABCotD-con, though.

[Coriolanus]

You best believe it Jared. Nothing beat Downtown San Diego, and we got the worlds nicest weather! You'll have to compete with Comic-con, but I'm sure they'll let you rent out the convention center after it's all done. Yay!

[nomatophobic]

I have a few friends in CO who I've been aching to visit, I will definitely let you know if I'm on my way out there. But you know, San Diego isn't a horrible place to visit either. And from what I understand, we occasional do host some unknown nerd convention known as Comic-con from time to time. Perhaps we can push out the nerds from the convention center and stand around with a boombox drinking cheap wine talking about horrible dates and fritos. (This is just how I envision the first annual ABCotD convention, I don't know about anyone else. Maybe it's Funyuns in everyone else's mind.)

Damn shame about Fizziks and Architect. Their presence is missed. Damn real life.

And yeah - Downtown SD is pretty sweet. I used to live near Seaport Village, but the urge to live in the biz-ay-ness of the city is slowly fading in my old age.

[Coriolanus]

Well Noma, if the Comic-con organizers have their way then Comic-con will be in hosted in Anaheim in the future, pending of course whether the SD City Council decides to expand the convention center. If they don't then Comic-con is more than likely outta here!

And then Jared can get the convention center all to himself. Yay!

I actually would love to live downtown, I've been a suburban boy, and I've worked a few jobs downtown and always loved the atmosphere and vibe down there.  

[JMG]

I might organize an impromptu thing around the NYC area, for any city folk in the metro zone, sometime in the next couple of weeks.  "An impromptu thing" being, "I'm going to be at such-and-such bar & grill at 6pm on Wednesday.  Come by."

[Nikki C]

OMG IT MIGHT BE LIKE A BLIND DATE FOR ALL OF THE TROLLLLLSSSSSSS!!!! (which is an affectionate nickname, btw)

[JMG]

Speaking of which, I might be zipping through your area (heh) next month.  I'll let 'cha know.

[TacoDave]

Hi.  My name is Dustin and I'm an alcoh...

Sorry.  Wrong forum.

I'm 34.  I've got four-and-a-half kids and an awesome wife.  I live in Portland, Oregon and I'm a writer/marketing guy for a non-profit.  

I loves me some Patrick Rothfuss, Orson Scott Card, Jim Butcher, and Kurt Vonnegut.  I also love video games, new kinds of candy (the new rainbow Mentos packs are delish), and new toys.  Seriously.  I'm a child.  A super sexy man-child.