Re: Fish: Nature's Vegetables

[JMG]

I was at a supermarket once with a hankering for turkey weenies.  Imagine my delight when I discovered that there was a sale on: half off all Ballpark-brand meat franks!  Sublime!  I grabbed two packs and raced to the checkout.

They rang up at full price.  When I brought this to the checkout meister's attention, she directed me to the customer service desk for recompense.

The customer service agent listened to my story: "These weenies are supposed to be half price!  I demand my money back!"

She asked me, "What did the sale sign say, sir?"

I replied, "Half off all meat franks."

Without batting an eyelash, she replied, honest-to-god, "These are turkey, sir.  The sale's for meat franks."

Batting an eyelash or two, I replied, "Turkey is meat."

She gave me a stare, then excused herself to talk it over with a manager.  I suppose Stop 'n Shop scientists were hard at work in that back room, discovering the possibilities of Red 41, veggie patties that really taste like beef, and whether or not turkey is meat.

She returned and, without a word, gave me the discount that I so richly deserved.  I had defended the honor of turkey that day, and I had triumphed!

- JMG

[Hexonxonx]

Closer to home, my girlfriend in college was mostly vegetarian-- her exceptions included Thanksgiving turkey, as long as it was free range.  My grandmother asked, in all seriousness, whether a free range turkey was made of meat.  Even after the meal, we had a hard time convincing her that it was indeed meat; in fact, years later she still remarks about the time that we ate a vegetarian turkey.

[JMG]

One Thanksgiving, some of my cousins attempted a tofurkey.  Two of the ingredients were orange juice and soy sauce.  How anything resembling a turkey could come from that, I'm not sure.  The resulting gelatinous paste wasn't touched by anyone.